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No, Nissan, Having A CVT Will Not Improve Your Sex Life


In their new ad campaign for the redesigned 2013 Sentra, Nissan focuses on all the ways the car’s features will improve your game with the ladies. We’re going to have to call out one of the ads today because it just doesn’t pass the truth test.

The campaign focuses on an ordinary-looking, clumsy, awkward schlub and his attempts to date a woman who looks like she could be a model. (Realistic, right?) This guy’s not very smooth, so Nissan advises he put some extra smooth in his life by getting the new Sentra with the continuously variable transmission.

I’m just gonna say it straight up: A CVT will not improve your dating life.  

We recently reviewed the Sentra (I’d love to dig it up but it’s in server hell with the rest of Jalopnik) and while we gave it high marks overall, it lost a bunch of points because its transmission was so hugely disappointing.

My girlfriend owns a 2007 Sentra with a CVT, which means I have to drive it from time to time. I can personally tell you that attempting to coax anything close to meaningful acceleration out of that car is like trying to teach a puppy to do long division. It’s ultimately pointless.

So fellas, why would a CVT help your game? Don’t you think the ladies would be much more impressed if you opted for the Sentra’s available six-speed manual gearbox?

Shifting your own gears shows her you’re a man with incredible skills who knows what he’s doing behind the wheel. A man to be taken seriously. And what if your date can drive stick herself? You think she’ll be impressed by the lame-ass CVT?

This goes for the ladies too. I find a woman who can drive stick to be incredibly sexy, and I think most of you would agree. It shows she’s independent, can handle a car just fine, takes care of herself and pays attention when she drives. All of those things are great qualities in a mate. (My lovely Sentra-driving girlfriend has since learned to hoon my five-speed manual WRX as well as anybody, in case you’re wondering.)

So if you’re looking to buy the new Sentra — a perfectly fine small car — do yourself a favor and get the stick. Your sex life will thank you. 

Please take note ladies.
11/05/12 at 1:20pm
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  1. dennissalexx reblogged this from jalopnikupdates and added:
    Please take note ladies.
  2. herpsichord reblogged this from jalopnikupdates
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